


**WIP**  Ohhhh, Crap | Marichat Fanfiction

by unicornhorse160



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Crack, F, F/M, I'm sorry it's kinda trash, It's really short, Marichat, Marinette x Chat Noir, Work In Progress, but only a lil bit, bye have a good day/night, cat noir x marinette, chat noir x marinette, f in the chat f yknow see im funny, im hilarious like that, marinette x cat noir, ok, seriously I'm working on it though, seriously tho if nothing else read the crack (chap 4) i think its funny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22990957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicornhorse160/pseuds/unicornhorse160
Summary: marinette (jokingly): just don’t fall in love with me, chat.chat (completely serious): of course not, no problem.**a week later**chat: T H E R E I S A P R O B L E M
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, cat noir/marinette
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	1. The Random What Now?

**Author's Note:**

> Eeecchhhhh...  
> It's bad. Sorry. And super short. But! Marichat!  
> Yay!
> 
> I'll try to finish it.  
> It might neeever be finished. You never know with me, honestly.
> 
> If you've seen this elsewhere, please tell me!! Thank you!! <3 ****
> 
> ~unicornhorse160~
> 
> *edit*  
> ****before or after I've posted this, I just want to make sure I've not accidentally copied or been copied off of, y'know? thanks! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can't think of a better chapter title and I'm so unprofessional please read unless you don't want to which is totally okay I do not mind at all and please have a great night (ok that I do mind if you don't do I care about your wellbeing whoever you are genuinely I care and I read these types of ramble-y messages and think "nahhh" but please don't think "nahhh" because really I care I do I do <3 so um yeah where was I going with this)

Chat is a flirt. There is no doubt about him being a flirt. And though he is a loyal, sweet, loving friend, he is most likely some playboy. Or something.

That is exactly why Marinette mimics him when she thinks he’s not looking. He notices anyway. And he’s determined to find out why she is the only citizen he’s ever come across that has mocked him in any way. Usually the people of Paris treat him with reverence. What’s different with Marinette?

* * *

Marinette is working at her desk on a new design, something that just popped into her head when she was “doing homework” (read: getting distracted by Adrien pictures). Something that she simply could not ignore. It was too perfect. And when she works, she loses herself in the drawing process, her tongue sticking out of her mouth, her eyes glued to the paper and not blinking.

Which is why it comes as such a surprise with something lands on her balcony. She jumps up out of her chair and grabs the nearest weapon -- which just so happens to be a nice, squishy, pink cat body pillow. She looks at it and drops it. She knows she’d be better off with her fists.

Except things bump on her roof all the time. She thinks back to her reverie and decides that it was probably the wind knocking one of her flowerpots over. She loves her plants, she really does, and even though she’s exhausted because sometime in her working state the sun went down and the sky turned black, she climbs up the stairs to her little balcony.

Her scream echoes slightly, and people down on the street look around for the source of the cry. When they cannot find it, they shrug and continue on with their life. It was only their imagination, after all, even if it wasn’t.

The small flowerpot Marinette hurls at the masculine shape thunks into his side and he groans. “Ouch,” he says, a bit winded.

Marinette lets her eyes adjust to the dim evening light. She doesn’t let her guard down, however -- she has her gardening scissors in her hands. They’d been left out from when she was last pruning her plants, accidentally left out, of course.

The shape doesn’t make any movement towards her, instead, he sighs and flicks the lights on. Defensive and a bit embarrassed for not having thought of that earlier, she ducks her head before jerking it back up to stare at the-

The random Chat Noir on her roof. _**The what now?**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELP HOW DO I GET THE LINE XD *EDIT MARCH 28 2020 I FIGURED IT OUT LOOK!!*
> 
> edit again (same day as above)  
> boi oh boi I'm still figuring things out please bear with me-


	2. Chapter Number Two Yay!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chat.exe *appears*  
> marinette.exe *does not compute*  
> (did I do that right?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look!! I did the thing!! I never thought that would happen actually no lie-

The random Chat Noir on her roof. Since when did random Chat Noirs start appearing on Marinette's roof??

"Chat Noir?" Marinette's voice is incredulous. As far as he knows, they've only met a couple of times. So what is he doing on her roof?

Chat fidgets and nods, avoiding Marinette's gaze. So maybe he is a bit embarrassed to be caught. Not caught, exactly, but still. Appearing on the balcony of a random citizen, a random ~~pretty~~ female citizen to be more specific, late at night? Sketchy.

"I was passing by on patrol, and I figured I'd drop by...?" he trails off, lifting his hand to the back of his neck and smiling sheepishly.

Marinette sighs and pushes her bangs back before letting them drop, now sticking up in places. She catches Chat smirking and glares. "Alright then. How can I help you? Do you need something to eat? I have a lot of food inside-"

"Camembert?" Chat cuts her off, a bit hopeful. He glances at the remaining dot on his ring and grimaces. "Quickly." The ring beeps, and understanding appears in Marinettes eyes.

She nods. "Be right back." Then the trapdoor is shut behind her, and Chat is left blinking in surprise at her swiftness. What happened to Marinette-who-trips-over-her-feet ~~-in-every-gosh-darn-title-scene~~??*

Marinette scrambles down to the bakery below, tripping over her feet and almost falling down the steps.** Frantically, haphazardly, she searches for the small amount of camembert her parents keep in their bakery for their more choosy clients.

"Marinette?" The worry on her mother's face causes Marinette to pause for a second before continuing to rifle through the various drawers in the bakery kitchen.

"I... I'm hungry." She's sidetracked, tired, and a bit shocked. What else could she have come up with?***

Her mom gives her a sideways look. "For camembert?"

Thankfully for Marinette, she finds the camembert just as her mom finishes the question. With a frenzied "Yes love you night!" Marinette races back up her bedroom stairs and onto her balcony, shoving the cheese at a panicky Chat Noir and quickly dropping down to her bed and slamming the trapdoor shut, leaving Chat on the roof.****

still a wip I'm so sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO  
> NOT  
> EAT  
> BUGSPRAY
> 
> MY MOUTH IS NUMB AHHHHHHH
> 
> MLEHMLEHMESLHGPALEAHCGEMSF
> 
> it is much too late for me to be up
> 
> * she trips over a black cat though and I'm sure everybody has noticed it by now but still THAT SYMBOLISM KILLS ME  
> ** there she is  
> *** what else could I come up with more like  
> the answer is nothing I'm a sad tired sap  
> **** ouch harsh amiright
> 
> Okay I'm tired so not really a cliffhanger but a something that is more than what it was I think so have a great night <3
> 
> also my dog died 11:47 pm march 26 (thursday march 26) and we buried her yesterday (friday because now it is 1am yayayay!!!) and sleep isn't on my to-do list and funnily enough neither is schoolwork even though I have a lot to do lolol so updating! yay! :D
> 
> I sound really heartless about my dog dying I swear I'm not heartless I care a lot I just don't want other people to care exactly 'cause I don't want to upset people  
> like I want people to care? because I love my dog  
> but I don't want to make people sad  
> and I wouldn't have this issue if I didn't share every tiny tidbit detail of my life with everybody I know kfdaksl  
> (do you know how many times I had to retype that keyboard smash istg the perfect keyboard smash is so hard to achieve who's with me-)
> 
> also my dog dying doesn't really have anything to do with this?? I think?? but I'm too lazy and tired and sad to delete it so it stays yay!! :D


	3. FRICKING CHAT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chat  
> get  
> out  
> of  
> my  
> room  
> NOW  
> .

Chat stays still, shocked, for a few seconds, and then he realizes - _he is about to detransform._ On Marinette's roof. In front of the whole city of Paris.

"MARINETTE!!!!!"

He winces as his shout echoes around the rooftops, shrinking into himself somewhat. But that doesn't stop him from banging on her trapdoor and pushing on it, trying to get it to open.

"DANG IT YOU STUPID CAT QUIT PUSHING PULL YOU IDIOT-" comes Marinette's voice from below. Chat flushes, embarrassed, but he pulls and topples into Marinette's room just as his ring gives out and Plagg pops back into their plane of existence. Frantically, Chat tries to locate Marinette to see what she'd seen, but he can't see her. Just a pile of blankets on her bed, a crapton of stuffed animals and dolls strewn all over the place, and- why are there so many pictures of him? Not him, but him. Adrien-him. There are more pictures of him on her walls than there are stuffed animals and stuff on her floor. Which is saying something.

"Marinette?" Adrien says before realizing - duh - that Marinette is the pile of blankets. Or is in it, at least.

"Yeah?"

"Nevermind, sorry."

Marinette is obscured by the blankets, but he can almost feel her eye roll. What happened to Marinette-who-swooned at him? Oh well. It is the middle of the night, after all.

"Hey, Chat Noir? Why was your ring doing the beeping thing anyway? Isn't it only supposed to happen after you do your Cataclysm thing? I'm just a bit curious." Smooth, Marinette. 'Cataclysm thing'? 'Beeping thing'? She winces under her blanket, thinking that Chat is going to think that she's an idiot.

Now it's Adrien's turn to go beet red.* "That part doesn't matter.** Ooh! Cool. P- the ring is charged. Claws out!"

Marinette pops her head out, breathing in relief when she sees the black leather of Chat's suit.

He shifts awkwardly and rubs the back of his neck. "So, thank you. What can I do to repay you, Princess?"

Chat is worried for a few seconds because Marinette stares at him like he's a purple monkey, but then she laughs and says, "Of course not! You save the day and stuff all the time, right? The fact alone that you even stopped at my house is an honor!" He's confused now by her sudden change of tone. She is probably very tired, but still. Kind of a bit weird, he thinks. But he brushes it off. He needs to go now anyway, him being in her room for much longer could be considered suspicious.

"Oh. Well. Goodnight then, Marinette." He acquiesces to her for now, but he makes up his mind - he will repay her at some point, somehow. Besides, he doesn't really know her all that well. So the repaying her could be a good chance to get to know her, at least just a little bit more. Maybe then he can talk to her about her interests - interests that aren't just fashion, although that is her main interest - at school and get her to stop freaking out.

"Goodnight, Chat," she says, the fondness and familiarity in her voice perplexing, as he has only met her a few times. She crawls back up into her bed and falls asleep before he's out of the room, which bewilders him just a bit, as he's kind of a random guy, even if he is the superhero of Paris. However, he shrugs it off and quietly leaves her room through her trapdoor, picking up the plant she'd thrown at him earlier and putting it back as best as he could. He is very tired, after all, so he's not as dexterous as he normally would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wheeeeeeeeeeee another patchy update from patchy author mee  
> aaaahhhhhh anyway  
> thanks for reading  
> I think people are reading this  
> so thanks <3  
> :)
> 
> *there's a lot of blushing going on-  
> **tbh i kinda really wanna write that part so i just might :)  
> ***gee i wonder why mARinEttE
> 
> okokok I just realized THEY'RE OOC IN THE OTHER CHAPTERS  
> well I mean all fanfics are ooc soooo-  
> but still  
> idk if I'm doing alright I'm just going all over the place XDD  
> sorry bout that :(  
> anywho  
> they're tired  
> that's the explanation for their mood changes or whatever  
> very tired  
> idk when I'm tired I start talking about weird stuff  
> like monkey shelves  
> :)
> 
> still  
> a  
> wip  
> sorry  
> :(


	4. Filler Chapter - The Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why was Chat's ring beeping?? What absurd shenanigans was Chat getting up to this time?? Hmmm...  
> The world may never know.
> 
> EXCEPT IT WILL HI HELLO THIS IS THE CHAPTER WHERE WE LEARN WHY THE RING WAS BEEPING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oop I'm so sorry I have like 2 readers I think maybe and I know I never update but I swear I'm not dead this fic isn't dead if it was dead I'd say something so it'll be! forever! before I finish this but it's still going
> 
> oh my GOD why the HECK is this my longest chapter. what is life

Chat is being a good Chat, leaping around on the rooftops of Paris and generally having fun while watching out for crime.  
That all ends when he hears somebody shriek.  
Immediately, he is racing towards the sound, fear fueling his adrenaline. Somebody is in trouble, somebody needs him, and he'll be darned if he can't save them. He reaches the source of the sound (a young man maybe a few years older than himself) and swoops down to grab the young man.  
"Stay here, good citizen, I will protect you!" he cries heroically. But not really. He just tells the dude to stay put until Chat can come back for him. And then Chat is off once more, unable to hear the protests of the man he's left behind. (Sir Chat!! Chat Noir!! Come baaaaaaacckkk!!!)  
Silently, Chat returns to the place where he'd rescued the man. Chat sees a very stunned looking person with really cool eyeliner sitting down on a bench.  
"Hey, what happened?? Do you know why that dude screamed??" Chat asks, very gently patting the head of cool-eyeliner dude.  
Cool-eyeliner person looks up, teary eyed. "A mouse," cool-eyeliner whispers, and Chat's metaphorical hackles raise.  
Of course. His mortal enemy, the mouse. Who else could cause such chaos?? Good thing he's hungry.  
Chat reassures this fine citizen that he, THE Chat Noir, will find this dastardly mouse and sacrifice it to the cool-eyeliner gods. But not really. Chat likes mice. They're cute.  
So off Chat goes into the darkness of the alleyway, sniffing the air for traces of Mr. Mouse. "Squeak squeak?" he calls hesitantly, hoping that his very-mouselike squeaks will draw Mr. Mouse out of Mr. Mouse's hiding place.  
Quite suddenly, Chat hears a high British-accented voice speak from the shadows. "How dare!! I am severely offended that you presume yourself so high and mighty as to use that language with me!!"  
Chat whips around and comes face to face with Mr. Mouse.  
Mr. Mouse is dressed quite nicely, actually, with a little top hat and a bow tie and a very pretty ball gown. Chat notices none of this, instead pointing down at Mr. Mouse.  
"You!! You scared that one random dude and that other dude with the cool eyeliner!!" Chat shouts, determined to protect the dignity of the people of Paris.  
Mr. Mouse scoffs. "As if!! Nay, 'tis I who was scared by them! I was on my merry little mouse way when I came across those two acting utterly stupidly!! So I very nicely went up to them and asked them to please calm down, they're going to scare the Pigeon Queen. But those nincompoops screamed and brought you here!!" Mr. Mouse shakes his little mouse head. "As you humans say, smh, Chat Noir, smh."  
Chat Noir stares at Mr. Mouse, shaken. "You- you mean to tell me that those two have tricked me?? NOOOOOOOOO!!!" Chat's cry echoes through the streets of Paris as Mr. Mouse stands there, head bowed.  
"It is to my eternal regret to inform you that yes, those people have, indeed, tricked you."  
Chat picks Mr. Mouse up in his hands, bringing Mr. Mouse eye to eye with him. "Mr. Mouse, can you ever forgive me?" he asks, tears brimming in his emerald eyes.  
Mr. Mouse pats Chat's masked cheek. "Of course, my dear boy. Of course. Now, I must be off. I was supposed to be at a dinner party three mouse minutes ago."  
Chat nods, gently setting Mr. Mouse back down. "Goodbye, Mr. Mouse. Until we meet again!! Your gown is absolutely gorgeous, I must add!!"  
Mr. Mouse turns and bows with a flourish of his little top hat, then disappears into the dark Parisian night.  
With a heavy sigh, Chat returns to retrieve the dude from the roof. "I'm so sorry, my man. I left you hanging."  
The roof dude is grouchy, and he shakes his head, tutting. "It's, like, whatever, Catboy. Can I go back down to cool-eyeliner guy now??"  
Chat nods, cowed, and brings roof dude back to cool-eyeliner.  
"Bro!!"  
"Bro!!!"  
The two people hug, delighted to be in each other's presence once more. Chat wipes away a tear, turning to depart.  
"Wait, Chat Noir!!" cool-eyeliner calls. "Could you do us a favor?"  
Chat turns back and nods vigorously. "Anything to rectify my dreadful mistake."  
Roof dude smirks. "Can you cataclysm this book?? It's the Slam Book of our school. We stole it and we're getting rid of it, and what better way than to cataclysm it?"  
"Cataclysm!!" Chat cries without answering, grabbing the book and crumbling it to dust. "You are welcome, good citizens!! Now 'tis time for me to patrol once more!!"  
And off Chat goes into the night, flying over the rooftops. It is only when Chat reaches the Eiffel Tower that he realizes that mice can't talk. "Mr. Mouse, the Miracle," he murmurs, then thinks no more of the stunned people staring at his retreating monkey form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to add the part where the slam book consisted of nothing but pictures of people's heads being replaced my m&ms  
> I've failed you, reader  
> I'm so sorry
> 
> but on a more important note:  
> this is exactly what happened nothing else happened this is the only story it is 100% true I am taking no criticism have a wonderful day goodbye.


End file.
